I've Moved

I'm over at BeehiveHairdresser.com.

Be sure to update your blogroll, and tell your friends.

Hopefully the google ads will place fun ads for dating websites - those are always so much fun to see!

To Do Today

1) Supermarket shopping before the stupid April Nor'Easter hits

2) Fix my grandmother's stupid tv.

3) Avoid getting stuck inside my grandmother's stupid apartment for an extended period of time.

4) Figure out how to export my blogspot blog to spuid wordpress - I use stupid google account sign on, if you've done this yourself or know someone who could do it, please email me: beehivehairdresser@hotmail.com I swear I would be friendly if being helped.

5) Figure out all of the stupid software available in adding on to the new site.

6) Cuss out my stupid workplace for blocking blogger at work, and making me do items 4, 5 & 6 today.

7) Nap away my stupid crankiness.

NOON UPDATE

Items 1 - 3 done, and found out about the junkie guy that was in one of my sisters wedding parties had an O.D. and died this week in a YMCA in Jersey.

Even though I only met him a few times and had to put up with his idiocy for a few hours here and there, I'm sure that he never wanted to be caught dead inside a YMCA - oh, the irony - se la vee.

What Was Clicked ON Adsense?

Someone clicked on an ad this morning for an ad on my adsense console, this happens every now and then. The most expensive ad I've seen clicked was for roughly $25. This morning the ad cost the advertiser $333!

That's right! A couple of hundred dollars!

Can someone please inform me what they clicked on?

BTW, I only get roughly $2 off of the $333 charge.

I'm Sure You All Heard The News

Just as the Digital Fortress reported yesterday, it's true, Johnny "J.D." Dogface was involved in a fatal car crash, along with Kurt Vonnegut, and a yet to be identified teenage prostitute who has webbed feet.

I was too busy making all of the arangements last night to finish my the blog transfer, and will be attending the wake tonight - it will be at a yet to be decided restaurant, and bar or two.



JD, my friend, Rest In Peace...

Construction - Never What It Seems

Mikey Hardhat came through big yesterday, in that he has finished the gutting of this site.

Now we're still waiting for the big dumpsters to arrive and allow us to dispose of all the construction materials.

As for Johnny Dogface...he's presently MIA. He began to get to work, then he heard a fire engine, ever since I haven't been able to find him, and he's not picking up his cell phone. I'm not too worried, so don't YOU worry about J.D. either.

In either case, I promise that I am literally roughly halfway done in the rebuilding process, and when you step across the street, you'll see that my blog is looking something like this:



Not bad for one days work. Seriously, my new site is almost done, I'm checking out some migration plug ins and testing the entire process of blogging out - it's all Greek to me, unless I'm in Greece, then it's all Japanese to me.

Under Construction

Hey guys (the four of you)

I'm working on some things to make this site a better place for you, and more specifically, ME!

Check back soon, as I hope to have a full gutting, and all new dry wall up within a few days so I can flip this thing.



My good pal Mikey Hardhat is currently gutting out all of the old dry wall.

But don't worry, nothing could possibly go wrong, I have Johnny Dogface doing all the work new installation of everything.



I'll be much more worried about all of you, than you of me. So please, don't worry about me, I'm Getting By:

Two Different Men In the Workplace

This morning I realized that there are two very distinct types of men in the workplace, those that Stayers, and those Face Show'ers.

These two distinct types of man couldn't be more different from one another.

Stayers, are those that keep their faces hidden in the bathroom stall until no one else is left in the bathroom after TCB, then they make their fast and quiet exit.

Face Show'ers, have absolutely zero shame in showing their faces let alone talking to a bathroom full of men, despite that it reaks of ass, and no matter how many men walked into the bathroom saying aloud, "Oh, dear lord" while quickly covering their mouths and noses, Face Show'ers will keep talking.

Face Show'ers would play a game of checkers with someone underneath the stall door while pumping out a bucket of buffalo chicken wings for 15 minutes without giving a second thought to it.

I myself am a Stayer. Maybe it's that I don't have 20 years under my belt of working and TCB in the office, or maybe, deep down I secretly have some sort of hidden unknown shame that is waiting to rise to the surface one day involving my need to do those things while getting paid to do it at work, or maybe, I just don't want to place faces to poo scents too much - who knows for sure why.

Don't get me wrong, if I have a meeting that needs my attendence I am out the door quickly, face down, no eye contact, thorough wash, and walk n' dry of my hands. In no way would I ever allow myself get stuck in a small talk conversation post TCB.

Face Show'ers are just such different people, with such different mindsets, that I am constantly blown away by the fact that they can rush in to the stall, TCB - loudly and with much gas, frantically wipe, flush, and meet me at the sink in the same amount of time that I do half of a pee.

I honestly don't think that I could be friendly with Face Show'ers outside of work - throw in the non hand washers too, and I really just really don't find my thoughts on being friendly to these types of folk as being a bad thing.

What kind of man are you?

RIP Blogger @ Work

Today I returned from my lunch break and found that the gigantic corporation that I work for has destroyed the little ray of sunshine that got me through boring days at work. They have forever blocked blogger from all desktops.

Working blows really badly, and with teeth.

PiercingMetal.com recommended this band the 69 Eyes to me, and this song it making sense to me with regards to my current workplace showing its flex and taking away my fun.

Enjoy.

Another Sopranos Season Premiere…

DISAPPOINTMENT!!!

There are only nine “final episodes” to be shown, and they have dragged out this show entirely too long already. Not only that, but David Chase and crew have already blown one of the final nine shows.

I sat down with the hopes of some good gruesome whacks to take place, and while there was one good whack, there should have been at least one main character whacked out of the blue to blow everyones mind – a Paulie Wallnuts or someone along those lines. Nothing like that happened.

Instead we had to sit through way too much Janice blah blah blah that never goes anywhere, and go on and on and on with her always appearing to tell so much about Tony’s past that we don’t care or want to hear about, and junk that the show never delves back into to make sense of anything, along with way too much Tony just sitting around by the lake thinking without even an internal dialogue to pass the time.

Each time they cut to the lake I was hoping that teams of navy seals in scuba attire would jump up out of the water and begin shooting everything and everyone to shards. Killing everyone would have been a good WTF are they gonna do now with the show twist.

Instead of people getting killed off the show, or getting to watch the shows characters develop from a one dimensional blah, into a multi-dimensional WOW, this season premiere was just another lame dream sequence / Johnny cakes / nothing much further developed into any of the storylines other than Christopher is on the outs with Tony, and that was a three second clip.

For such a “great show” that the Sopranos are considered to be, if you go back and watch them all, you will realize that the show went off into way too many tangents without ever wrapping those tangents off, or explaining what the heck happened to 99% of them.

You’ll also find that most of the time you’re just sitting around waiting for something to develop, and instead finding that you’ve been ripped off again and again without a true storyline, or even a good whack, leaving you with having wasted your time.

David Chase, if I wanted a long drawn out soap opera type show that rarely develops a storyline to watch, I would be TiVo’ing Days Of Our Lives.

Chase, get your act together, please.

The Easter Bunny Isn't Real...

Anymore...

It's true, and this is the story of how I found out.

It was sometime during either kindergarten or the beginning of 1st grade, and one of my sisters had lost another one of her baby teeth. It was only then that I was told that the Tooth Fairy was going to stop by our home to pick it up - specifically the bedroom that she and I were shared as little kids.

All of the other times I was only told of the Tooth Fairy's stopping by only after its coming and going.

While it wasn't the first time that the Tooth Fairy would be in my bedroom without my being aware of it, it was the first time that I was aware that such a cool event was going to happen, and I wasn't going to let myself miss this event yet another time.

That night my parents tucked me into my low bunk bed, and my sister the top bunk bed. They ensured that we both new that the tooth was in the special tooth pouch underneath my sisters pillow.

"When will the Tooth Fairy come to pick it up?" I asked.

"Tonight, when your sister is asleep." They replied.

"Well I'm going to wait up so that I can meet the Tooth Fairy." I informed them, I was desperate to meet the Tooth Fairy because I needed to know that he knew who I was, and that he would take my teeth for cash too.

My parents said, "okay" having assumed that both my sister and I would fall fast asleep without another thought of the Tooth Fairy.

They shut off the lights and went into the living room to await the arrival of the Tooth Fairy, or so I thought.

I layed in bed, tossing and turning, waiting for the magical Tooth Fairy, I wondered how big the Tooth Fairy was, while my sister fell asleep. About an hour went by, the door opened, and I asked, "Tooth Fairy, is that you?"

My mother responded with "Beehive, go back to sleep" then closed the door.

I was still wide awake, time dragged on for what felt like forever, and I couldn't take it anymore. I got up, opened the door, went out, found my mom, and said, "She's asleep, what's taking the Tooth Fairy so long?"

My parents informed me yet again that I should just go back to bed and go to sleep. They put me back in bed, and I informed them that I would not fall asleep until the Tooth Fairy arrived.

After being tucked in again, time dragged by even slower. The door opened again, I looked up, and saw my mother yet again.

She heard the frustration in my sigh, and went back to speak with my dad.

A short while later the both of them sat down on my bed and told me that the Tooth Fairy wasn't going to come to our house that night, because, well, the Tooth Fairy wasn't real anymore.

They sat down on my bed and told me that they didn't want to tell me this, but they knew that I was going to stay awake all night long in a stubborn fashion waiting for the Tooth Fairy.

They told me, "The Tooth Fairy once was real, but wasn't anymore."

This statement left me more confused than anything.

"What are you talking about?" Was my response.

They then went on further to explain that the original Tooth Fairy had died a long time ago, that they have been the ones taking teeth from under both my sisters pillows, that they were leaving the cash in its place, and that all parents do this because that's what the real Tooth Fairy would have wanted.

This news shocked me. Not only was I lied to, but I was also instantly thrown into a state of mourning at the shocking news that my beloved Tooth Fairy was in fact dead.

It the biggest news that I had ever received, and it was in fact a revelation that my world was a lie, I instantly wondered what else was true. God? The Devil, Jesus? Santa? The Easter Bunny?

Their answers were: Yes, Yes, Yes, No, and No.

WTF????

According to the both of them, Santa and the Easter Bunny met the same fate as the Tooth Fairy, and that their jobs were pawned off on that of everyones parents.

To this day, I'm 99% certain that they still believe this.