Neither Here Nor There…

After having an awful day yesterday that involved hitting a car that almost mowed me down as it flew by within inches while in reverse, dealing with scum of the Earth “Financial Planners” at work, finding out that two of good my work slacks have holes on the right back pocket from my wallet, having to deal with riding the F train during rush hour when everyone on board is a complete idiot, and being offered a job that I would probably enjoy doing and learn a lot from but cannot possibly do right now so I had to decline due to lack of being able to live on peanuts an hour - my mind is still spinning.

With that in mind…

Get it? Huh?

No? Oh well, here’s a story from your Uncle Beehive.

Here’s the tale of when I was only one degree from Kevin Bacon.

I was standing outside of a venue on Church near the Tribeca Grand, and had heard that Bacon was inside the bar next door. I knew that this rumor that I couldn’t really care about was most likely true, since during some of the conversations that I had while drinking to quell my moods with the bartender/owner on previous nights it had come up that Bacon frequents her place often.

I was standing outside talking to a buddy of mine, “Herb”. Herb was going on and on about some story that was most likely not true when I saw Kevin Bacon walk by. I interrupted Herb, and said, “There’s Kevin Bacon.”

Herb searched, spotted, locked in on him, and then said, “Watch this.”

Seeing his eye movement, and hearing his words made me worry for a moment, since he is one to tell stories that involve lots of under the table crime related themes, that seem like they are only fantasy, yet I wouldn’t doubt if maybe one or two were actually true.

I thought to myself “What have I done?” and “I’m most likely going to get arrested as an accomplice in an assault on Kevin Bacon.”

Herb turns and walks in what one would view as an aggressive walk/posture toward Bacon and his friend as they were waiting for the street light to change, and shouted, “HEY YO, BACON!!!” while pressing his chest out towards Bacon looking as though he wants to size up Bacon, eat him for dinner, and then just beat him up for no good reason.

Bacon turns and said, “Yeah” in his cool manner of “yeah, I was in Footloose AND Tremors.”

Herb, shouts “HEY I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE YOU GONNA VOTE?” (This was right before the second Bush Presidential election theft of 2004)

Bacon gestured west and said, “Down by the water.”
Herb, “YOU’RE NOT REGISTERED IN PHILLY NO MORE?”
Bacon, “Naahh, I’ve been down there for about 18 years now.”
Herb, “OKAY, GOOD STUFF MAN. GLAD YOU’RE VOTING.”
Bacon, “Great.”

The light changed and Bacon walked off with everyone saying a friendly good night to one another.

Herb turns to me and grins, “Wasn’t that great?”

WTF???

“How is asking Kevin Bacon where he votes great?”

“See, the next time I’m in Philly and I’m at a political gathering (Herb’s family are big in PA politics) and I see him, I’m gonna ask him if he remembers some guy on the street in New York asking him where he votes, and then, I’ll be in with him.”

“Yeah, okay Herb.”

Some two years later I guess that makes me some plus two degrees from Kevin Bacon, twice removed, carry a one and then multiply by eight…yeah, that’s about right.